Frequently Asked Questions

What advantages do unfenced relationships have over conventional fenced relationships? +

What if I told you that by being in unfenced relationships you can find more well-being, more freedom, save massive amounts of time, save money, save heartache, increase pleasure, reduce pain and save the frustration of the conventional dating market by upgrading to something far, far better and far more robust.

That’s a whole bunch of pretty big claims, right? So I break each of those claims down one by one in the fourth and final video which you can watch for free on this website.

If you haven't already, you can get started on the homepage right here.

How Are Unfenced Relationships different from say polyamory, swinging or other relationships that may involve more than two people? +

Open relationships, polyamory, swinging; none of those things are Sex 3.0 constructs.

Some may be more 3.0 than others so let's look in more detail at what I mean by that.

To illustrate, let’s take a look at a guy from my home town of Liverpool, England – John Lennon. Back in the 1960s he wrote a song in which he said “All you need is love”.

John was a great proponent of using slogans to unite people and this is a great example of that and I agree with him that love is massively important which is why it is at the core of the design of 3.0.

Now to say that I am a huge Beatles fan would be a massive understatement however, if you think that love is really all that you need then you must think that the existing relationship framework that you want to completely replace consists only of the opposite of love.

In other words you must think that the existing framework consists only of either fear or hate (depending on whether you think that fear or hate is the opposite of love).

Likewise if you think that open relationships are the solution then you must believe that the existing framework that needs replacing consists only of “closed”.

If you think that poly is the solution then you must think that the framework that needs replacing consists only of mono.

You starting to get the idea?

Swinging is merely recreational sex for bored married couples. It’s not a 3.0 construct.

An open relationship, or a poly relationship is not a result of and does not necessarily come out of having a 3.0 consciousness.

If you are in what poly people call a “closed triad” or a “closed quad” then it means that you are not in an unfenced relationship of any kind. You are in a fenced relationship. Just a fenced relationship that consists of one or two more people that a conventional 2.0 fenced relationship.

Simply adding more people to a 2.0 construct does not make it a 3.0 construct.

By the way, I don’t say this as any criticism of the poly community. When I first came out with the book Sex 3.0 I had no idea about marketing. I simply put the book up on and a couple of other sites and within the first week or two I started to receive great feedback and fan mail from the poly community in the United States.

Despite zero marketing, they were the first to discover the book and, despite the fact that I don’t self-describe as poly I even had invitees to speak about Sex 3.0 at polyamory conferences. Invites which I accepted.

Having spent some time with people in the poly community, I can say that some are far more 3.0 than others.

For example if all the talk in the relationship is about “boundaries” and constant discussion of “where the boundaries are drawn” … well … that’s just another way of saying “this is where my fear lines are drawn”.

As you can see from the core designs of 2.0 and 3.0, fear is a 2.0 way of relating so even an open poly relationship wouldn’t really qualify as a Sex 3.0 construct if it’s conducted in an atmosphere of fear, constant negotiations of boundaries, permission seeking and jealousy and possessiveness.

I have met other poly people who don’t suffer from this or conduct their relationships in this way and who are far more 3.0 than 2.0 so you can now see what I meant when I said that when it comes to open relationship, poly relationships and swinging that some of these are closer to 3.0 than others.

In fact the poly community should be congratulated and supported for questioning the status quo and being brave enough to leave it behind.

One of the other things that I discovered from the time with people from the poly community is that some poly people that I have met would describe poly as a “relationship configuration”, some poly people that I have met would describe it as a “lifestyle choice” but none of the poly people than I have ever met would describe poly as a “solution framework”.

In fact a lot of people I met in the poly community have told me that being poly sometimes creates as many problems as it solves.

Again this is not a criticism of poly. Ok so polyamory is not a “solution framework” but that’s ok. It’s wasn’t designed as a solution framework and this brings us to the final key difference between poly and Sex 3.0.

Sex 3.0 was actually designed as a solution framework.

It provides context, in order words it provides knowledge of the 1.0 era, the kind of relationships that we have done for most of human existence, the kind of relationships that we are both biologically and emotionally programmed for.

It provides in depth understanding of why the current conventional model, which I call 2.0, does not work and it provides an upgrade which solves all of those problems and give you access to ULTRAs - unfenced long term relationships.

What is Sex 3.0? +

To fully explain the answer to this question takes about half an hour because you have to know what 1.0 and 2.0 are also.

Thankfully the 4 free videos on this site go into detail and explain fully what Sex 1.0, 2.0 and 3.0 are.

If you have not done so already, you simply have to go to the homepage of the site to get started on these 4 videos.

The 10 second answer to the question "What is Sex 3.0?" essentially goes like this:

There are very few things that unite all human beings on the planet regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation, language, ethnicity and culture but two of the big ones are consciousness and sexuality.

We are all conscious human beings.

We are all sexual human beings.

However you can have a level of consciousness ABOUT sexuality.

The default level of consciousness that you were given by society is 2.0 and it's a REALLY REALLY low level of consciousness.

Sex 3.0 is the upgrade.

How is doing unfenced relationships any different that just saying you don't want to date exclusively? +

If that’s what you are doing then what you are doing and is not only not ULTRAs, it’s nothing like them at all. Not only are we not on the same page, it ain’t even the same book.

If that’s what you are doing then all you are doing is getting access to the casual dating market, that’s all.

Ultras means Unfenced Long Term RelAtionships.

If you are just on the casual dating market then, sure, you are unfenced so you satisfy the first letter but NONE of the rest.

Look, I am not against casual hook-ups and they have their use in the sexual marketplace, sure. But investing all that time, money and emotional energy in the sexual marketplace for just a one night stand or a short fling only to have to start all over again from square one and with nothing to show for it is not really my style and I am guessing not yours either or you would not be on this website.

But how do I find women or men who are open to the idea of having an unfenced relationship? +

You don't have to "find" people who are open to the idea.

I am the author of this course and I have been having unfenced relationships since 2001 and those are the only kinds of relationships that I do.

In the last 14 years of having unfenced relationships, my refusal rate is literally zero percent.

In other words the number of women, who after having the initial conversation with me, that have then refused to have an unfenced relationship with me is literally zero .... in 14 years!

Knowing how to have this conversation and how to have it skilfully is the key.

Thankfully this is a teachable and trainable skill and I go completely in depth and how to do exactly that in great detail in module 4 of this course so that you can get the same results.

How many videos are in the course and how long are they? +

There are 51 videos in the modules and 5 bonus videos. In total there is more than 18 hours of video along with several hours of audio taking the total to approximate 22 hours of content in total.

How is the course structured? +

The course is divided into 6 modules spread over 6 weeks. You will receive one or two new videos to watch every single day over the 6 weeks of the course.

If I have read the book Sex 3.0 already, shouldn't that be enough? +

The book Sex 3.0 is essentially a blueprint for a new societal framework and one that has many advantages over the conventional model including access to unfenced relationships.

However if you have a blueprint for a house, that's not the same thing as having a  house.

You have to build it first.

This course shows you how to build and have successful unfenced relationships.

If I included all that in the book it would probably be several thousand pages long.

In this course we do true deep dive training on this one particular thing that the Sex 3.0 framework unlocks - unfenced relationships - and you are going to get the tools, resources and best practices that are required to get access to that so that you have faster and easier success.